This week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. In one of the first rounds I experienced, I felt like I had totally lost my footing. My first reaction was to feel sad, overwhelmed and lost. My perspective focused on the black and white where either things worked out the way I wanted (meaning a win for me) or they didn’t (meaning a loss for me). In that moment, my energy was focused on reacting to all the black. This perspective made me miserable to the point where I found myself breaking down in tears and crying inconsolably to God before brushing myself off and with a heavy heart heading out to deal with the day-to-day craziness of my job.
As I left, I felt led to set my playlist on some praise and worship. I chose a playlist of songs sung by Anthony Brown and Group TheRAPY’s and Trust in You filled my ear. As I listened, though my heart was heavy and my mind chaotic, my spirit calmed. I wouldn’t have won any smiling contests in that moment and anyone who looked into my eyes would have seen that I was far from okay but I felt my spiritual perspective shifting. I began to rejoice and talk to God from a stance of rejoicing and gratefulness:
I will trust in You, Lord. Because when I trust in You, nothing that happens in my life is ever just purely black and white, as it seems to me in the moment. Though my heart is heavy and focus shot, I will trust that my dark moment was meant to serve a part in your bird’s eye view plan. Because all things work together for the good of them that trust in You.
As I listened and spoke to God, I felt the tightness in my heart and ache in my chest unfurling. God got down in the bad thing with me and I came out better for it because He gave me a perspective that changed my narrative. Everything was not okay but that was okay because I trusted that, like many times before, God has me covered with His feathers and under His wings I had a guaranteed shelter. From that perspective, like Habakkuk 3:17-18, I could declare:
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
In that moment, God took the time to remind me that “My situation can’t all be bad or for naught when He, the Master of all storms, is in the midst of it.” I felt comforted. Tonight, from a place of gratefulness and rejoicing, I say the same to you.
I would love to hear about your experiences in which you invited God into the midst. Tell me more in the comments section below.
