Is your loss a loss?

You lost something but was it really a loss?

Lately, I’ve thought a lot about “loss”. In reflecting, I realized that I was in an oddly thankful mode as I reflected on the “losses” I have experienced over the years.

My losses took me to where I am today. They brought me closer to walking in purpose and turned out to be blessings that I needed. In the moment of “loss”, I could only focus on the loss but in retrospective, God’s hand was it. It was all meant for my good. It wasn’t a loss but rather a setup for a win.

When I think of losses, my mind reflects on Ruth and Rahab. Ruth was the beautiful Moabite woman who unexpectedly lost her husband. Instead of wallowing in her loss, she chose to move forward. Her forward outlook led to her finding the true God and a Jewish husband. Even today her legacy lives on because she is written in the genealogy of Christ.

Rahab, on the other hand, had an opportunity to prepare for and choose her loss. Her loss was expected. When her Jericho, her home city fell, she did not hesitate and choose to move forward from the loss that she knew was coming. Because of this, she too, like Ruth, ends up on the genealogy chart of Jesus! This is so unlike Lot’s wife who looked back at everything she thought she had lost and lost her life in the process.

In life we will have expected and unexpected losses but we still need to keep moving forward into the purpose God directs us in daily.

As I write this, I reflect on my journeys, especially one that has rested heavily on my heart lately. Mid 2020, my relationship with one of my closest friends changed. For more than a year afterwards, I tried desperately to keep hold of what had obviously changed. I refused to accept the loss. Maybe it was because I loved my friend or I was afraid for whatever reason, I felt like I had to hold on tightly. Except the tighter I held, the more things burst at the seams. I lost respect for myself. I became angry at my friend deep-down and I shied away from the idea of losing my friend for good.

Eventually something happened. A serious “are you kidding me?!” moment in my eyes and a blase one for my friend. And, I got real with myself. For the first time in a long time, I sat down before God and processed my feelings. I realized something important. I loved my friend but I needed to also love me. I didn’t want a friend who would do something like that to me…again. A friendship built on the foundation that it now had was definitely not something I desired for me or anyone else. I was too valuable in the eyes of my Father to play around like that and stick with the loss I was meant to have taken months before.

When I took that L (loss), I won! For the first time in months I felt at peace about the entire situation… Most importantly I was no longer chasing a friendship that left me bruised and worn and with my guards up, constantly wondering when it would screw me again. I loved my friend but that was definitely not a way to live or enjoy a friendship.

The thing that no one really tells you is that when you hold on to the L (loss) you are meant to take or accept, it costs you dearly. It costs you peace. It costs you joy. It costs you you. It costs you your self worth. It costs you your future.

See your loss as you prepare for a gain…