Anxiety. Overwhelm. And Lying.

I lied to my therapist last week. He asked me, “How are you doing?” I replied, “I am dealing with a lot but I feel still.” It turns out that the handle I thought I had on the situations going on was not handling well. A cauldron of emotions bubbled up in me to the […]

Cut A Friend

I loved my friends and clients but, I treated them like enemies. I refused to cut a friend. Storytime. Recently, the Lord jerked me up about how I showed up in my friendships and some relationships. I gave them kisses and smiles when they needed something life-giving but hard to give and possibly receive. Let […]

“Well Done!”

Recently, the Lord reminded me of one of my biggest addictions and idols: Hearing “Well done!” from others.

Common human decency.

Chanel standing outside with a white male

Happy new year, my friend! I am sitting here reflecting on my first fully solo trip to Costa Rica, a country where the natives don’t speak my native language, and I barely speak theirs. One of the things I grew to appreciate is the kindness of strangers during a time when “basic human decency” is […]

I walked away from the church and God.

footprints in the sand

This morning, the Lord reminded me of a critical part of my burnout and people-pleasing story. He reminded me of when I left the church and checked out on Him for almost a year and a half. I am not ashamed of this experience. I thought it was necessary at the time. I just never […]

One mile can be harder to walk than twenty.

One Mile Can Be Harder

On a night when I would rather have been out and about in Tilaran town in Costa Rica, the Lord prompted me to rewatch one of my favorite movies Redeeming Love. “Pay close attention to the marriage scenes,” the Lord whispered. After tears upon tears, I finished the movie with a new understanding of marriage and […]

30. Single…and A Virgin. Why the wait?

At 30 years old, there are two questions I get asked quite a lot. The answers to both these questions are linked…and definitely not what most people think. A common assumption is that I’m a virgin because I am a Christian. And that I am single because I do not have options. Both couldn’t be […]

A Near Drowning – A Lesson In Male Leadership & Female Submission

Almost Drowned

I almost got swept away by strong river currents last week. As I reflected on the moment, the Lord dropped a bombshell on me about men’s roles as leaders and women’s submissiveness that I’d like to share with you. But first, let me share the story of my near drowning. My friend and I visited […]

Get In The Box, you Jezebel!

“Get in the box, you Jezebel!” If you’ve watched the movie, Barbie, you probably instantly recognize that famous Will Ferrell line. He screamed it in irritation as Barbie takes too long to reenter the box that would return things to “normal”. But this post is not about people who try to force us into “normal” […]

Marriage at 25 Would Have Been The Worst Thing for Me. How Ready Are You?

One of the most frequent questions I get is “When are you getting married?” For many years that question made me uncomfortable because my dream was to be married by my 25th birthday. But you know what? I’m really glad that I didn’t get married at 25 like I planned and others expected. Growing up, […]