If you’re a high-achiever who’s always chasing the next goal and striving for success, this one’s for you.…
It’s even more for you if you’re pushing yourself just to keep up with what’s expected of you, trying to keep up appearances and live up to the ‘perfect’ image of other people’s standards.
I get it. For a long time, that was me. But doing all of that stuff got me no closer to the satisfaction and peace I desired until one thing changed.
Always chasing success…
Last year, I let two of my professional certifications expire.
My certified change management professional (CCMP) and project management professional (PMP) certifications were feathers in my professional cap. Symbols of my self-worth for years, yet God told me to release them.
And I did not argue with Him. I had all the prerequisites to renew them but I let them lapse. For the first time, I did not tie my worth to a professional or life achievement.
Here is how I got there…
Years ago, I self-studied and passed the project management professional (PMP) certification exam. As a woman who desired to climb the corporate ladder, this was a huge deal. When I got the news, I cried. When my peers learned of my accomplishment, their respect increased.
I was euphoric for at least a week. Then I started thinking about the next thing to achieve. In this case, it was my certified change management professional (CCMP) exam. It took completing that exam to clue in on a destructive pattern I had.
I’d accomplish something then immediately start grinding to accomplish the next thing.” I was successful by my peers’ standards and on target with my goals, but I could not take the time to be present and enjoy my accomplishments. I was always on to the next thing. There was something that drove me, but I did not understand it.
How to redefine success…
For as long as I can remember, people told me, “You are smart, and you will do great things.”
The more I achieved, the more the respect grew. And the more people got specific, “You are great at xyz. It is the thing you are meant to do.”
I took everything they said and what the world defined as “success” and created a version of success for my life. Hence, my bid to collect certifications and degrees like they were Pokémons.
Despite all that, I could not still the dissatisfaction and clamoring longing for a sense of peace and joy that eluded me. It is no wonder that in 2020, as I almost lost my life, I consistently broached one topic to God, “What is purpose and dream job?”
His response to me was puzzling but simple, “I will give you a job that aligns with your purpose and makes you excited each day. However, there are things you need to come to terms with. If I revealed it to you now, when you are not ready, you would reject it.”
His answer confounded me. I had visions of corporate grandeur around the thing I was skilled at. Those visions rolled over into my personal life. I wanted the big house, the perfect husband and kids. I aimed for the white picket fence, a lot of money and the lifestyle that all that money afforded me.
But that was not what God had in mind for me. That was not His version of success for Chanel.
This week, one truth washed over me. I listened as numerous friends thanked me for the seeds I sowed into them. I saw that those seeds had sprouted fruit in them and people I’ve never met and will probably never meet. I realized I was doing work that lights me up.
“God’s words were true!” I am living in the reality of goals and successes that are exceedingly abundantly above anything the former version of myself could have imagined.”
All it took to get here was aligning with my Creator and Father and submitting my way and will for His.
This meant releasing control of my personal goals and timelines.
It meant relinquishing how I thought things would happen.
It meant releasing the goals other people thought I should pursue.
It meant submitting my desires and ideas to Him for refinement.
It meant doing exactly as He said when it least made sense. I did not always get it right, but I do try (progression, not perfection)…
But it took a huge sacrifice to do all that. I stopped chasing “success” and submitting myself to the will of others, including myself.
That transition started with one act of obedience, “leaving corporate in 2021 when the Lord told me to.”
Making that move was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It stripped me of the successful world I’d built and the dreams I had around it.
I spent years working my ass off to get to the top of the corporate ladder.
I put everything I had into it.
Money – I paid for the degrees and certifications I felt would help me get ahead. In fact, I was on my second Masters when I quit corporate.
Time – I worked long hours thinking it would pay off one day. I kept my eyes on the “prize” even after my second burnout from doing the same shit on a different day.
Relationships and Passions – I put everything and everyone I loved (including myself) on the back burner of my life. I told myself that once I achieved all I wanted, it would be worth it.
Except, there was an insatiable monster within me who demanded to be fed constantly. His food of choice? The euphoria of chasing and accomplishing new goals made me look “successful”.
I chased an elusive version of “success”. Truthfully, it was not something I truly desired. I wanted it because it was what I was supposed to want. So, for years, I spent years chasing new accomplishments and sacrificing to climb to the top of a ladder that I did not even want to be on.
A scary admission to make, right? It was not one that I made until about 2023. I left corporate but was mad at God for making me leave the “dreams I had” to do His will.
In fact, in stepping away to do His will, I still tried to recreate my corporate dream in the business world. I told myself that I would accomplish all the fame and grandeur there, doing the things I was good at. That I would have the respect of my peers.
I refused to lose my version of success. I continued to chase others’ version of success for me. I left one environment behind, only to tighten the noose around my neck once again.
I had to “succeed” or else I would be looked upon as a failure. Others thought I was a fool to leave my ‘good good’ corporate job to go into business. Anything less than “success” by their standards would only be confirmation of what they said. Anything less than “success” would mean that I wasted the thing I was good at.”
I was willing to sacrifice to make it happen. Being a “success” would make it all worth it. So, it is no wonder that when I “failed” to have the business I wanted in the time I wanted it, I battled immense feelings of failure and shame.
Today, I look back and thank God that I did not get the “success” I wanted. It would have sucked me dry inside and robbed me of the opportunity to impact the lives of the people I was called to. There was a problem in the earth that my “specialness” was called to solve. Doing anything less was “failure”.
Redefining Failure…
A few days ago, God used Exodus 2:1-2 to renew my perspective on failure and preparation.
About this time, a man and woman from the tribe of Levi got married. 2 The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months.
What struck me was “Moses’ mom’s behavior when she knew she held something special!” She hid her baby to protect him (not out of fear of what everyone would say, but to give her baby the best chance of survival).
Her behavior is the opposite of how many of us behave when we hold something special in our hands or we deem ourselves “special”.
We either grow timid and hide it because we don’t believe in it or we fear what others will say.
Oftentimes we do everything we can to put the “specialness” on display immediately. We put all our time and effort into showing it off to the world as soon as it is discovered. Tools like social media make it easy to call attention to “specialness”. And if no one keys into what we are showing off, many of us take it as a sign to “try harder” or worse start to believe that “we are not as special as we seem to think.” So, we stop believing in what God placed in us.
We overlook something that Moses’ mom was keenly aware of. There is something out to kill that “special baby” and so, it has to be protected and given the best chance to survive at all costs.
You see, Moses was born at a time when the Pharoah of Egypt had given the command that all Israelite baby boys be killed. Yet his mom saw that he was special and was willing to sacrifice to give him every chance of survival. She disobeyed the ruler of her nation and hid her special son for 3 months.
Now you may think that you are not facing anything as dire as Moses’ mom did but let me offer you an opportunity to shift your perspective. Every day we face situations designed to shift our focus from or minimize the power of the thing God calls us to. The devil wants to either distract us or kill us and the fruits associated with us. Don’t believe me, check St. John 10:10:
“The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
Moses’ mom was not just fighting for her son’s life. She was unknowingly fighting for the freedom of her people, the Israelites. That was the power that lay in her baby’s specialness. That was what was on the line to be stolen, killed, and destroyed if she had not protected it with such vigor.
When I allowed myself to be distracted by the world’s and my version of success, do you know what was on the line? My mission to “equip you to serve your neighbor in ways that honor God, you & them”! My message to you was on the line. My message to people-pleasers was on the line. My work with entrepreneurs and leaders was on the line. My work to help promote emotional wellness and hit the psychological effects of Caribbean slavery was on the line. That’s a lot, right?
Now, think about you. What is on the line if your specialness is not protected?
Protecting Your Specialness That Guarantees Success…
When the Lord started speaking to me about “protecting my specialness”, I thought it was about hiding it for a due season. That’s what Moses’ mother did. She hid her son as long as she could. And then later, God hid him in plain sight in Pharoah’s palace, as Pharoah’s nephew.
My perspective changed when God took it a step further. He showed me that “protecting that specialness” is also about preparing it for the season when it is meant to be revealed. The thing is preparation does not have to look like what we expect. Let’s look back at Exodus 2:3-4:
3 But when she could no longer hide him, she got a basket made of papyrus reeds and waterproofed it with tar and pitch. She put the baby in the basket and laid it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile River. 4 The baby’s sister then stood at a distance, watching to see what would happen to him.
Maybe when Moses’ mom got pregnant, she hoped it was a girl. At least, that’s what I’d wish for. When baby boys were being murdered, it would have certainly made life much easier. And who doesn’t want easy?
She probably had a lot of dreams and hopes about her baby. How she’d nurture her baby. How she would show off the child to her friends. What she would teach her child. Who she hoped her child would become. All the things. She probably had goals, dreams and vision around what being a mother looked like.
So, imagine what it felt like when a baby boy emerged, and she realized what was on the line. This was no ordinary baby. Things became more complicated. She probably had a moment when the realization hit, “the ordinary life I planned for my baby is no longer possible.” She probably prayed about what to do. “How do I protect this special child?”
I can just imagine how conflicted she must have felt when she realized that the only way to protect her child was to release her child. Not into the physical arms of someone who could care for him.
She had to prepare a basket to make sure it could hold the baby in the dangerous environment she was about to put him in.
And once that basket was ready, she put her beloved baby in the basket, then placed the basket on the River Nile, trusting God to protect him. Protect him from crocodiles and creatures that could kill him. Protect him from the nature of the river. Protect him from all the unknowns and things she could do nothing about.
All she could do was send her daughter to watch from afar as that basket flowed with the currents of the River Nile to wherever it was supposed to go.
Isn’t that hard when you are a control freak? Isn’t it hard when you have hopes and dreams about how things will be? I cannot even begin to imagine all the feelings she would have experienced as she submitted her special baby to God and trusted Him to protect her child way better than she could.
Now, what about you? What about me? You know your vision is special. You know God put something within you. You know you are meant for great things. And yet the way God tells you to prepare your specialness is to hide it. The way He tells you to prepare for it is to do things that make no sense. To do things that look like it will destroy and kill it, instead of giving it more of a chance to live? Isn’t that crazy?
That’s exactly what He did when He told me to walk away from corporate. That’s exactly what He did when He told me to release my professional certifications. I thought I knew what success looked like. I had the hopes and dreams of success. I invested heavily to secure that success and yet, He told me to walk away.
It was Him putting me in a basket that He prepared to protect me. It was Him putting me on the River Nile to get me into the arms of Pharoah’s daughter. It was Him getting me to the place where I could get what I needed to hone my specialness. It was him preparing me in ways I never thought possible.
I wouldn’t be here writing to you like this if I never walked away from corporate.
I was a high achiever with low self-worth. I did not know and own my identity as a Daughter of God. Someone loved by her Heavenly Father. Someone who did not have to perform to be loved.
I was a people-pleaser who hated myself and my life. I did not know how to love myself or my neighbor. I did not know how to serve and love my neighbor without bending over backward or sacrificing myself.
And you know the surprising thing, He did protect me. He protected me. He refined my desires and gave me success in a way that did not cost me my joy and peace.
Looking back at Moses’ mom’s story, you’ll realize that she too got to experience her hopes and joys unexpectedly.
5 Soon Pharaoh’s daughter came down to bathe in the river, and her attendants walked along the riverbank. When the princess saw the basket among the reeds, she sent her maid to get it for her. 6 When the princess opened it, she saw the baby. The little boy was crying, and she felt sorry for him. “This must be one of the Hebrew children,” she said. 7 Then the baby’s sister approached the princess. “Should I go and find one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?” she asked. 8 “Yes, do!” the princess replied. So the girl went and called the baby’s mother. 9 “Take this baby and nurse him for me,” the princess told the baby’s mother. “I will pay you for your help.” So the woman took her baby home and nursed him. 10 Later, when the boy was older, his mother brought him back to Pharaoh’s daughter, who adopted him as her own son. The princess named him Moses, for she explained, “I lifted him out of the water.”
She got to raise her son without the threat of Pharoah killing him hanging over her head. She got to experience some of the joys, desires, and hopes that she had in being a mom all because she chose to submit her special baby to God.
Submitting To God Gives You Joyful And Peaceful Long-Lasting Success…
My Pink Flamingo friend, Moses’ mom’s story is my story. And it can be your story too!
Success comes when you submit to God. I only got here because I submitted to God’s version of protection. Protecting my specialness to ensure my success meant stepping out into the scary things. It meant ditching my logic of what “safety and security” looks like and trusting that God has me covered under His wings. It meant releasing my version of success and trusting God to prepare me and guide me to His version of success for me.
The only thing I can say is that it has been hard, but it has been rewarding. It is worth it, especially the joy and peace that comes with it.
Will you take a page from Moses’ mom’s book? Will you take a page from my book? Will you trust Him with your specialness today?
🛠️Choose Your Path To Pink Flamingo Food
If you’re ready to get off the high-achieving train of striving for success and instead ditch the expectations of others and unlock God’s version of success for you, become a pink flamingo today.
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🤩Things I Am Grateful For (What We’ve Been Up To)
🦩Working on back cover for my new book “Lean In To Your Pink Flamingo“. This book will change lives. God changed how I showed up in life emotionally as a recovering people-pleaser so I could pass on the lessons I learned to you and others. You can donate here if you’d like to contribute to bringing it through the final stages of release!
🦩Celebrating friends who rededicated their lives to God. For a long while I asked God if I would have to change my circle so I could be fed spiritually by the people around me. He showed me that I needed to show more of my pinkness to my friends. Now, I see why.
🦩Celebrating spring. It is my first time seeing so many trees with so many colors.
🦩Speaking about the Pink Flamingo Way for individuals and business owners on Steve Wright’s podcast. Just a reminder that your flamingo pinkness is needed in this world. God did not create you to be a clone. Check out the episode.
