Modelling Mary – Reflect Often

I have a confession to make. The last few months have been emotionally brutal for me. On top of all this, I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster for the last few weeks. There has legit been days when I feel least like myself. I struggled to pray because all I felt like doing was crying and raging at God, who seemed asleep. Yes, that would be me channeling the alarm, stress and anxiety of the disciples in Mark 4:35–41 “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”

Recently, I came across the following scripture:

but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.
Luke 2:19 NLT

Let me catch you up really quickly. From the moment that she learns of her pregnancy up until shortly after she gives birth, Mary had several experiences with God and celestial beings:

1. Gabriel gave her the good news
2. Gabriel appeared to Joseph on her behalf
3. Elizabeth’s baby leaped in her womb at the sound of Mary’s voice
4. Simon saw Baby Jesus because God directed him to the place she and the child would be.
5. Anna also meets Baby Jesus at the Temple and prophesies.

Mary and God had history! The thing that struck me is that Mary does not forget these supernatural experiences. Instead, she kept all of them in her heart and thought about them often.

For my 27th year, I decided to keep a journal to document how and when God spoke to and inspired me during the day. In thinking about remembering, I went back to my journal to review my testimonies (the moments when I proved God in 2020). Here are a few of the experiences I kept in my heart and will model Mary by thinking often about.

TITHING and generousity – BLESSED TO BLESS

At the beginning of 2020, I decided to prove God by tithing (returning 10% of my income to Him) for a year (check out the series). Throughout 2020, I returned to God more than I have ever returned. He also opened my heart to giving and I found myself giving away more than I thought possible, without grieving the loss. In turn, He showed me His hand at work. He channeled the funds to the persons who needed it at the time they needed it! I heard testimonies that I could never believe. This came about because I decided to “prove Him now” (in the words of God in Malachi). I chose to be faithful and honour God with what He had blessed me with. And the amazing thing is that I didn’t lack a thing! In fact, I saved a lot more than I’ve ever saved despite receiving a 10% pay cut in May of 2020.

OBEYING HIS REQUESTS

Early in the 2020, I had an experience that was pretty amazing. God asked me to do something that required me stepping outside my comfort zone. Fearful, I delayed. When I took the first few steps, I ran into roadblocks and quit. Insistently, the Lord prodded me and I stepped out and finished what the Lord had tasked me to do. My act of obedience yielded fruit and an amazing testimony! Can you imagine it? Conversations about the exact thing God asked me to do was happening in another country at the same time, each time, He asked me to do. Y’all, I cried like a baby when I learned this bit of news.

SEEKING AND FOLLOWING GOD’S FOR STRATEGY

Have you every been pissed off at someone because they are being totally unreasonable and confusing? Like “damn them to hell” mad or “they can take a long jump off a short bridge” mad? Well I have! I went to God in anger and ranted about the situation and asked what to do. I tell you, when you ask God for solutions, be prepared for the “foolishness” that will confound the wise. Do you know what He told me? He told me that I should acknowledge that I too was in the wrong and apologize. Shamefaced, I asked for the words to say and found myself inspired to write a letter that included “I love you.”

Guys, given that all my “wise” strategies had failed, I decided I had nothing to lose by trying God’s foolishness. I executed the Master’s plan. Minutes later, I received a response and a change in behaviour that made me cry. All anger gone and transgression forgiven, “I love you too.”

I later learned that the individual had asked God for a sign (that same day). The sign involved me saying “I love you.” In reviewing my journal recently, I realized that I too had asked God for a sign on May 1st, 2nd and 17th. He provided an answer on May 26th.

FOLLOWING WHERE HIS DIRECTION

One early morning, I jumped awake, unsettled. As I laid down trying to understand what had caused me to wake, my mind returned to a nightmare I had had a few weeks before. My mind started reeling off the interpretation of the nightmare. Startled, I realized that the Lord was granting my request for an understanding of the dream. I told Him to pause and leaped out of bed to get my journal and a pen (I haven’t slept without either since). Once again settled, I asked Him to repeat what He had said and He did.

He then gave me some instructions that left me pretty uncomfortable because it mean being vulnerable with a new friend about something I struggled with. This was a friend that I had never had such a conversation with before! I decided to be obedient and called my friend a few days later. I spoke and she listened without interrupting. When I ended my tale, she told me that what I now struggled with was something that she too had gone through and overcame. She then gave me some tips and agreed to be my accountability partner.

SPEAKING AS THE LORD DIRECTED

Towards the end of the year I had a visitor whom the Lord told me to speak specific things over. Heart in my throat, I did as He requested and anointed her. My visitor ended up inviting me to a physical church. Now I haven’t been to a physical church in probably about 2 years and had no desire to visit an Apostolic church. For some reason I decided to go. During the service, the pastor called her up and anointed and spoke over her similar things that I had done the previous night. I stood flabbergasted.

The Point? I assure you there is one… 🙂

As I reflect on the hard emotional season of the last few months, I realize that we can take a page from Mary’s book. It is important to remember the evidence of God’s hand in your life. The truth is “His promise still stands….We are still in His hands. He has never failed us yet.” These remembrances become sources of encouragement for you when you are in the valley. If God’s hand was evident in Your Life before, surely He won’t leave you in the dark and uncertainty now. May God help you to keep your testimonies and your experiences with Him in your heart. Like Mary, may you remember them often.