I hit my computer on three different occasions today!
On the third hit, my spirit stopped me in my tracks with a “Wow! Wow! Wow! Atta girl! Stop! Something’s not right!” I paused and immediately did a self-assessment to identify what was the root cause of the behavior that went against the fruits of the spirit that I was meant to display.
My mind immediately started replaying things I have said, over the last few weeks:
- “I am upset with God. I can’t understand why He would lead me down and insist that I stay on a path that feels so broken! I haven’t done anything but be obedient. I don’t deserve this!” (I got an Elijah vibe with this one.)
- “I feel like I am continuously hitting my head against a brick wall while being called upon to respond from a place of grace.”
- “I’m tired. I’m tired on all levels and feel so alone in this.”
- “I’m on the brink of giving up. Give me something to aim at! I can’t fight what I don’t understand!”
- “Pray for me because with the way I’ve been feeling lately, I even googled the symptoms of depression.” (another Elijah vibe going on…)
Based on my assessment, my conclusion was that I had become increasingly frustrated with a path that God has set me that was changing in ways that I could not comprehend.
A few hours ago, God and I had the following dialogue:
Me: “I feel like I am continuously hitting my head against a brick wall while being called upon to respond from a place of grace.”
God: “Well…it’s a good thing you have on the helmet of salvation.”
Guys! I seriously can’t make this stuff up!
God’s comment sparked my curiosity and I did some quick research about the helmet of salvation. Firstly, the word “salvation” means “being saved—receiving deliverance”. According to Life Hope & Truth “the helmet of salvation gives us hope, protects our minds and keeps our focus where it needs to be: the end of the race. When we’re wearing that helmet, it doesn’t matter what Satan throws at us—we know what we’re fighting for, and we know that our salvation, our deliverance, is a gift from Someone far greater than our enemy.”
The Point? I assure you there is one… 🙂
The thing is I (and you) may be tired and frustrated. We may be looking at our situation and wondering “why did God put me here? There is no way this is even remotely fixable…” The situation may seem to be getting worse and looks like nothing makes sense. Frankly, I have no words of encouragement for you because right now I am pretty tapped out but I do know one thing: If God put you there and insists that you stay, this is not the final story you’ll tell. He is doing something that you can’t afford to miss. Don’t become frustrated and impatient and walked away in disobedience before the time of maturity. Keep on your helmet of salvation. Let it give you hope, protect your mind and keep your focus where it needs to be: the promises God made to you. Believe me, He is good for it!
Side Note: That third hit of frustration reminded me of Moses who hit the rock instead of speaking to it, because he was frustrated with the people of Israel. That hit made him lose access to a blessing that he had been faithfully working towards and anticipating stepping into for over 40 years. There is a price to pay for actions manifested due to unchecked frustration.
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” – Proverbs 16:32
